I have been looking at my plans for social/emotional renewal by looking at the social/emotional checklist. This is the area I struggle with the most and the one which I will find most difficult to implement. I am a very introverted, private person and have a certain amount of social anxiety unless I know people very well. I haven’t been on a night out in around two years!
The first item on the checklist is about being reliable and dependable. This is something I’m good at particularly at work. I am very well thought of and I’m seen as ‘second in command’ next to my manager even though I do not have that official position. I hate being late to anything whether it’s for my shift at work or for a appointment of some kind. In fact I’m normally early! I’m also reliable and dependable at home, I’m the person my children will go to if they need something.
The next item is having a hopeful outlook on life. I’m getting much better at this and I’m learning to stop worrying about things which are out of my control and I’m getting better at living in the present moment. Since starting this personal development journey I am much more positive about things in general.
The next item is being trusting and supportive of people in my circle of influence. I think I’m pretty good at this. My Social circle is quite small and contains people I’m very close to so it’s not so difficult. I need to be more trusting and supportive of my partner. We have been through some difficult times together which has caused some resentment and tension to build up. We are in a better place than we have been for a long while though, so things are improving.
I’m more of a listener than a talker so my listening skills are pretty good. Like most people I’m guilty of trying to think of what I’m going to say next rather than actually listening. Still lots of room for improvement though as a lot of the time I listen well because I don’t know what to say and am just trying to keep quiet rather than putting my opinion across.
I find I can be very empathic when children and animals are concerned. I also work with adults with profound, multiple, learning disabilities so no problems here either. I am very humanitarian so spend a great deal of time worrying about many vulnerable people for many different reasons. My empathy goes to those who are really in need who I see overcome obstacles every day without complaint, and I don’t seem to have the same empathy for people with day to day issues. As a consequence of this I can often come across as quite cold (not helped by the fact of my introverted quietness!). So, room for improvement here and I would do well to remember that some people are fighting battles that you can’t see – hence why they get so upset about their washing machine breaking down etc.
As for maintaining my most important relationships I am closest to my children in particular my son. I had terrible postnatal depression after having my daughter and I feel that it has effected our relationship somewhat. We missed out on some of those early attachment stages so I need to revisit these with her. My son in a way helped pull me out of PND so we have a very close relationship and also with him having Autism and me having a lot of experience and understanding of it (through my work) this has helped a lot. As previously mentioned there is lots of improvements to be made with the other half, but things are looking up.
I am very bad at apologising. I have a lot of pride and hate to admit that I’m wrong and believe that I am right most of the time (I am!) 😂
I can most definitely persevere through the hard times and have done so and I’m still not giving up. (I would have to admit I was wrong, wouldn’t I?😂)
Self-care is something I was pretty bad at. I remember when the kids were born I could go a whole day without washing, eating or even peeing when things were really bad. Thankfully I got better at it! I’m even making my own beauty products with coconut oil for mini pampering sessions! Get me! It’s taken a lot of time for me to get used go spending time on myself. I still feel a bit guilty but I’m getting there. I try to remember that you can’t take care of others until you can take care of yourself properly.
I have been working on acting rather than reacting to situations too. The meditation is really helping here and staying mindful as much as I can.
So, here is my list of goals for social/ emotional renewal:
- Plan and live my life according to my values.
- Have a positive attitude.
- Practise listening skills.
- Working on important relationships.
- Practise good self-care. Coconut oil products, eating healthily, exercising, meditation, date night for me.
- Practise acting rather than reacting to people and situations.
Some of these are very big goals which I will need to break down into smaller chunks.